


Shattered Glass

by nozomomm



Category: Love Live! School Idol Project
Genre: Airplanes, Alisa and Nozomi friendship, Character Death, Developing Friendships, Developing Relationship, Eventual Relationships, F/F, Minor Minami Kotori/Sonoda Umi, Minor Nishikino Maki/Yazawa Nico, More characters to come, Nozomi super over-protective, Survival, Wilderness Survival, eli's grandmother is dying, eventual kotoumi, eventual nicomaki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-17
Updated: 2017-07-03
Packaged: 2018-10-20 08:37:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10658916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nozomomm/pseuds/nozomomm
Summary: Eli's grandmother is sick and is living her final days on Earth. Eli is devastated already, but gets even more upset when she can't go to Russia to visit her beloved grandmother. But, Eli's best friend, Nozomi Tojo, saves the day. Or does she? Just when the two thought tragedy already hit, it has merely just begun. Follow this story of tragedy, along with their growing romance.





	1. Chapter 1

She got the call first thing in the morning. Her grandmother was sick and she probably won’t make it through this one.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to eliminate the growing anxiety in the pit of her stomach. The lump in her throat also started to build up, but she forced it away in effort to continue her day in peace.

However, today would be more difficult than others and a special someone would immediately pick up on the distance coming from her precious Elichika ~ 

Nozomi Tojo watched as Eli quietly packed her things after a long day of hustling within the student council. They were both rushing, hoping to make it to the last 15 minutes of a school meeting. 

“Did you handle the budget papers?”, Eli said while expressing an off, overly stressed expression. 

“Yes, they are being approved by the chairwoman.” 

Eli nodded and got back to attempting to squish all of her many papers into her bag. The frustration and impatience the student council president was showing stood out to Nozomi. She got closer to Eli and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Why don’t we skip the meeting today? You’re overworking yourself again, Elichika.”

Eli remained silent. 

“I’ll even treat you to your favorite parfait on the way home..”, she spoke, simultaneously grazing her thumb over the blonde’s shoulder. However, Eli reacted quickly by moving away and heading out the door.

Using a stern and serious voice, Eli mumbled, “This meeting is important. I’ll meet you there.” 

Nozomi’s heart stung while Eli walked out the door. She rarely ever spoke at her with a scary voice like that, causing a long sigh to come out of Nozomi. She grabbed her bag and made her way into the hallway. She saw a quick shadow walking at the end of the hall, and realized that it was Eli. Walking in the complete opposite way from the room the meeting was being held in. Being the sneak that she is, she decided to follow. She knew Eli was acting off today and she made it a priority to find out what was wrong. 

From a distance, she saw the recognizable silhouette step into the bathroom. Nozomi picked up her pace and stopped before reaching the entrance. She decided to listen from outside before making any sort of action. 

“Здравстуй, мама.”

Nozomi heard her clearly and surprisingly recognized the Russian words; Eli was greeting her mother. Although the fact Nozomi loves hearing Eli speak in the complex language of Russian, she hoped that the rest would be in Japanese so she could at least understand what she was saying. Luckily, it was.

“I want to go see her, I’m begging you.”

Eli spoke seriously, but desperately. Nozomi could just picture Eli frantically pacing the bathroom floors.

“I’ll do anything, mother! I swear! I’ll find the money! Just let me go.. I just want to see grandmother one last time…”

Nozomi heard Eli’s voice crackling. It all made sense to her now, something must be wrong with Eli’s grandmother. The violet-haired girl knew Eli’s grandmother meant everything to Eli. 

However, now that Nozomi knows what’s going on, she knows exactly how to fix it. 

Knowing Eli would rather be left alone right now as she was still grieving in the bathroom, Nozomi escaped and headed to the meeting. She explained that Eli was going to be even a little later due to excessive work. Later, Eli showed up and acted like nothing was wrong once again. It was painful for Nozomi to watch Eli’s terrible acting. 

After the meeting Nozomi went into town and did what needed to be done. Hopefully, she’ll confront Eli tomorrow before it is too late.

~~

It was noon of the following day, and from the end of the hallway, Nozomi heard the soft cries of her best friend. She approached the classroom and saw the blonde in the seat closest to the window with her head down in between her arms. 

As soon as Nozomi took a step into the classroom, Eli looked up and immediately wiped her eyes.

“O-Oh it’s you, Nozomi. I was just getting ready to head to the council room..”

Baka Eli tried playing things off and shuffled her things together, looking as if ready to leave. 

“Shh..”, Nozomi said, walking closer to Eli.

Eli ignored Nozomi and stood up, collecting her things. Nozomi put her hand over Eli’s belongings, signaling that she was not going anywhere. Nozomi then went in to comfort the crying girl, wrapping both of her arms around her slightly trembling body. 

“N-Nozomi..”

“There's no need for you to pretend to be so strong Elicchi, it’s okay for you to cry.”

At this point, Eli knew she was right. The tears built up in her eyes once again and she clutched onto the back of Nozomi’s shirt and lowered her head onto Nozomi’s shoulder. The vice president ran her fingers through the beautiful blonde hair she loved so much. 

With her heart beating out of her chest, Nozomi whispered, “I have a surprise for you Elicchi~.”

The taller girl broke away from her and curiously looked her in the eye. A bright smile spread across Nozomi’s face as she reached in her jacket pocket to retrieve the slips of paper. She took Eli’s hand and placed them in her palm. 

“For you, your mother, and Arisa.” 

Eli looked down to the contents now in her hand. Her eyes widened and she gasped when she realized what Nozomi had gotten her. 

Plane tickets.

Her hands were shaking as she met the green-eyed girl’s gaze, who was still smiling oh so brightly at Eli. Tears once again filled the corners of her eyes. She reacted immediately by wrapping her arms around Nozomi’s neck.

“Oh my god, Nozomi! T-Thank you so so much..Oh my god..”

She squeezed Nozomi tightly, while Nozomi reacted by giggling and placing her hands on Eli’s waist. With her mood almost changed completely, Eli backed up to be face to face with Nozomi, still resting her arms on Nozomi’s shoulders. 

“How did you know? How did you get these?”

“I overheard the conversation with you and your mother in the bathroom yesterday. I have been earning more money than I need at the shrine lately.. It’s the least I could do, really! You have always been there for me Elicchi.. you’re always by my side.. This is my way of saying thank you.” 

Eli looked at her, as a sincere, loving smile spread across her own lips. A line of tears streamed simultaneously, Eli was drowning in glee. Nozomi’s hand rose to cup Eli’s cheek and wipe away the tears with her thumb. Eli’s heart fluttered, and a quick decision was made in her mind. 

“Nozomi..”

Eli took Nozomi’s hand from the side of her face and rose it to her soft lips, placing a gentle kiss of gratitude on her hand. 

“If it’s okay with you, I would like you to come with me in place of my mother.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff for now, soon to get real tense...

“If it’s okay with you, I would like you to come with me in place of my mother.”

“Eh? Elicchi I think it would be a lot better if your mom…”, her voice trailed off as she saw Eli’s face grow long, and the blue eyes staring deeply into their still connected hands..

“I-I haven’t been on the best terms with my mother lately.. I don’t even think she wants to see grandmother.. Please Nozomi, go with me.”

With these words said, Eli gripped Nozomi’s hand harder. Nozomi smiled and grazed her thumb over Eli’s long, slim fingers. 

“If it would be okay, I’ll be happy to go with you.” 

Eli’s eyes darted back up to meet Nozomi’s soft gaze. She expressed her happiness with shining a smile back at Nozomi, and noticed the light blush growing on Nozomi’s cheeks. She averted her attention back down to the hand that was holding the tickets. She looked at them more closely.

“I bought them so the departure would be tomorrow. I know it’s kind of sudden b-”

As Eli could hear the unconfidence in Nozomi’s voice, she intervened.

“They are perfect. Hey.. would you like to get some parfaits later? We can discuss our plans then~”

Reassured, Nozomi giggled.

“Let’s.” 

The rest of the day followed, with giggles and good times at their favorite little parfait shop in Akihabara. The two were sad when they had to depart, but were excited to see each other first thing tomorrow morning to begin the journey.

The night went by slowly for Nozomi, her mind never seemed to stray from her best friend. On these lonely nights, she always wondered if Eli ever lost sleep thinking about her~

The morning sun was bright and gleaming, and Nozomi was more than ready to begin their exciting day. A whole day spent with Eli, she could hardly wait.

Before she knew it, she was driving up in front of Eli’s house, in the Mini Cooper her parents had lent her for this trip. She saw Eli and Arisa waiting outside, and smiled when she saw Eli become shocked after seeing the vehicle.

“Nozomi??!! You can drive?!” 

She parked the car and stepped out of the driver’s seat. She was greeted by an ecstatic Arisa, who was running towards her with open arms.

“Nozomi-senpai!!!”

She hugged her favorite kouhai and patted her on the head. 

“Hiya Arisa-chan!”

“T-Thank you so much for letting me come along! It means so much to me, honestly!!” 

Nozomi smiled at the smaller girl, “Of course, you deserve it! Now go get situated in the back seat there, I have to explain to Elicchi how good of a driver I am~”

She smirked at Eli, who helplessly smiled back while rolling her eyes. Arisa did as she was told and Nozomi proudly took out her driver's license.

“I got it when I turned 18, so I’ve been driving for quite a while now. I’m actually pretty good~”, she ended the sentence with a wink.

Secretly, Eli was impressed. She has learned to never underestimate the great Nozomi. 

“Hmph, I’ll be the judge of that.”, Eli said, watching as Nozomi took a step closer to her. 

“It also means that I could take you places, anywhere you want~”, Nozomi spoke, changing the tone of her voice in the last part of the sentence. Eli’s cheeks grew rosy and a smirk grew across her lips.

“I’ll look forward to it then.”

With a slight sway in her step, Nozomi took Eli’s and Arisa’s luggage and loaded them in the trunk. Eli headed to the passenger seat of the vehicle, checking the back seat first to make sure Arisa was safe and situated comfortably. Arisa assured her older sister that she was content, which enforced a pat on the head by Eli before she returned to the passenger seat. Nozomi made her way to the driver’s seat and in a few minutes, they would be on their way to the airport.

“Seatbelts on everyone!”, Nozomi cheered. She made sure to check the mirror to see Arisa with her seatbelt secured, and giving a shining thumbs-up. Nozomi turned on the ignition and Eli already purred with interest. However, as soon as Nozomi got onto the main road, she noticed Eli gripping the handle with all her might. Nozomi made sure to drive slow and really concentrate on driving smoothly. After a few fun roadtrip games suggested by Arisa, which included “guess the Russian word”, a game that Nozomi greatly failed at, Eli seemed more relaxed. The reason for Eli’s fear wasn’t exactly for her safety, more of the fact that if Nozomi wasn’t a good driver she would end up constantly worrying about Nozomi’s safety behind the wheel. But reassured, she noted that Nozomi was great at driving. Again, she should never underestimate the great Nozomi.

The car ride became exciting for the three, especially when NEXT WORLD by the one and only Pile came on. All three of them knew every word and the blasting of the radio inside the Mini Cooper made it all more outgoing. However, there was one error made. Nozomi was wrapped up in the music and might of hit the brake a little too hard, but immediately flung out her arm to restrict Eli from jerking forward. 

“Ah, I’m sorry…” 

“It’s okayy you’re doing good Nozomi!”

With that bit of encouragement from Eli, Nozomi made it to the airport without any other inferences with her driving.


	3. Chapter 3

When they arrived at the airport, Eli and Arisa practically sprinted out of the car to get a glimpse of the huge, new building that simply amazed the both of them.

“Harasho!”, they said at the same time, gazing at the interesting complex that neither of them have ever experienced before. 

Nozomi, having traveled a lot throughout her life, has been to airports plenty of times. This was nothing new to her at all, and she already figured she would have to watch over the two children so they don’t wander off and get lost inside. She headed to back the trunk of the car and was about to unload all of the luggage, until she realized that she would need some help. She was about to call Eli back over but noticed her friend in the midst of some very cute actions. Eli was helplessly spinning around, with her arms flaring and seeming to be very confused. Nozomi figured she was searching for her, but being mischievous and learned to love Eli’s cute moments, she let the lost little puppy find her own way. 

Nozomi noticed when Eli finally laid eyes on her, and giggled as the blonde sprinted back towards Nozomi, followed by Arisa. Yes, Nozomi was absolutely sure of the fact that sometimes, Eli’s and Arisa’s age difference was invisible. 

“Ah! Sorry Nozomi! This place is huge, isn’t it?”, Eli exclaimed while immediately removing all of the things from her best friend’s hands. 

She chuckled, “It sure is~” 

They hustled inside with all of their things, went through security, and found some seats they would wait in until the departure time. Nozomi began to worry when she noticed Eli losing the excitement she had just a bit ago and got even more concerned when her blonde best friend sent her little sister away with some money to buy some food. Nozomi also noticed the saddening look on her Elicchi’s face when they met eyes.

“Nozomi.. I.. This is all settling in now.. I don’t know if I’m ready to see my grandmother like this”, she mumbled. Nozomi moved her closer to her and raised a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“We haven’t seen her in a very long time, what if she doesn’t even recognize us?”

Nozomi could tell she was choking on her words. 

“Elicchi, from all the wonderful stories you have shared with me about her, the emotion in your voice when you talk about her, I can almost feel the connection you two have. It’s a connection that could never be forgotten - no matter what the illness.”

She spoke quietly and softly, consoling her to the best of her ability. However, Eli’s face continued to grow long.

“And what about Arisa… I have to be strong for her..,” Eli’s face was now hidden by her hands, “S-She can’t see me like thi-”  
“Eli.”

The tone of Nozomi’s voice made Eli perk up. Just at the sight of her soft face, wondrous green eyes, and the look of sincerity she was expressing to Eli.. it all made her feel instantly relieved. The sound of her voice as well, Eli didn’t know what she liked so much about it but just hearing her speak calmed her.

“You don’t have to be strong for anyone during a time like this, you’re human ya know? It is perfectly okay and acceptable for you to get emotional over this. No one is going to think you are weak. Especially not your sister.”

With a loose grip on her emotions, Eli latched onto Nozomi. Her arms wrapped around her neck and she buried her face into the violet-haired girl’s shoulder. Eli had no clue what she would do without Nozomi by her side. 

A few hours passed, Eli tried to distract herself from the reason behind the trip until they actually arrived. She kept in mind all of the positives of this trip: the beautiful Russian scenery, the nostalgic Russian culture, and experiencing it all with the two most important people in her life. They planned on staying in a hotel near the hospital where her grandmother was in, and planned on leaving after the funeral. The three didn’t discuss this, but none of them knew when the funeral would be so there was no set return date. 

Finally, it was time to board the plane. Luckily, they all got seats together. Little did Nozomi know, Eli was also quite afraid of planes. Not as bad as her fear of the dark but still evident enough to give Eli quite the shake. Nozomi originally didn’t know this, but understood as soon as the blonde gripped her hand tightly when they were taking off. Nozomi rubbed Eli’s hand with her thumb and the tight grip of the fearful girl loosened. She became completely calm once the plane was settled into flight, which allowed Nozomi to breathe as well. 

Arisa is quite the brave young girl, Nozomi noticed after realizing she hasn’t picked up nearly any of her older sister’s fears. Nozomi has felt herself adapt as an older sister to Arisa as well, and Arisa certainly looks up to the vice president the same way. With Nozomi’s over-protectiveness and all the time they have been spending together lately, this bond continues to be strengthened. 

They chatted to pass time and watched some movies to cover their almost ten hour flight. Eli’s movie pick, which wasn’t a shock to Nozomi, was The Notebook. Eli claims to have never seen it before but somehow managed to recite every line. Being the not-so-secret romance lover that she is, she sobbed for the entire second half of the movie. Nozomi, however, barely got to watch any of the film between Eli’s constant need of tissues and having to cover poor Arisa’s eyes during the more scandalous scenes. Nozomi was more than happy with this though, because any time she got to spent with the adorable Ayase sisters was heaven to her. 

Finally, a flight attendant announced their arrival and they soon landed. Once the three stepped out of the plane, they stopped and took a whiff of the crisp air of the country of Russia.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Um I guess it gets sad now.

Russia. The place that holds most of Eli’s memories, her childhood, and the place where she feels most welcome. 

Their first stop was to get settled at the hotel they booked, then straight to the hospital. Nozomi was impressed that Eli still knew conversational Russian and was easily able to talk to the taxi driver and hotel staff. They settled into their hotel room in no time. Noticing there were two double beds, Eli made a quick decision. 

“Hey Arisa, how would you like your own bed?”

Nozomi perked, instantly noticing that Eli wanted to share a bed with her over her own sister. She was about to object, until she saw how ecstatic the young one was to have a big bed all to herself. Of course, Nozomi looked forward to sleeping next to her best friend, so it was a win win. 

“Cute and clever, Elichika~”

∞

After they freshened up, they set off to the hospital. Both Arisa and Nozomi noticed the loss of cheer in the other girl’s voice, but they knew the cause. Even Nozomi began to feel a bit heavy after the silent ride there and the deep atmosphere she felt once stepping in the hospital. 

“Room 109”, the lady at the front desk told them.

Eli hastily lead the two and allowed herself to enter first, telling Nozomi and Arisa to wait outside for a minute. They understood and did as told. 

The air in the room was dense, and Eli definitely felt it. She wanted to be strong today, she didn’t want to be shaking, she didn’t want to feel as weak as she did. But as soon as she locked eyes with her grandmother, the feeling of defeat overcame her. 

(conversation in Russian)

“Grandmother”, her legs felt numb with every step she took.

“E-Elichika? Is that you?”

Eli instantly noticed the raspy, choppy sound of her grandmother. Her heart broke. She hoped the woman in the hospital bed could not pick up her quavering voice.

“It is me, I came to see you. I.. I really missed you.”

She saw the expression on her face change, which led to her grandmother barely raising an arm to signal for her to come closer. Eli approached her, hesitant at first. The emotionally-ridden grandchild felt a wave of feelings hit her when a shaky hand reached out for her. With tears now streaming down her cheeks, Eli took her grandmother’s hand and held it between her two hands. Her tears became more heavy and she felt as if she had completely lost control of all of her emotions. 

“I have missed you as well, my dear. You have never failed to come across my mind every single day. You and Arisa.” 

She spoke slowly, rubbing her thumb gently across Eli’s hand.

“Tell me, what has brought you so far?”

Attempting to regain the ability to speak, Eli cleared her throat and spoke, “I-I wanted to see you. You mean so much to me, grandmother. I wouldn’t be the person I am today without you always pushing me, always, always there for me. You..You showed me the good and bad, you taught me so..oh so much.. You have helped me grow. It wouldn't be right if I wasn't here with you now.” 

“You're right, my Elichika. I can still remember first seeing you, when you were just a small girl. I knew you were going to become something special. Now I can see you've grown,” she smiled, “But you're still my Elichika.”

Seeing her grandmother’s smile, it brought joy and sadness to Eli. It's a pure, loving smile that she never wants to see go away. She felt tears build up in the corner of her eyes once again. 

“My beautiful grandchild, the only words I can say to calm those tears are… Don't ever lose sight of what matters to you. I may be counting down my days physically, but know that.. I'll always be with you. In your heart, in your mind, by your side. Always, always with you.” 

Eli took those words to heart. With her sobs now heavy and unstoppable, she leaned gently on her grandmother. With no hesitation, her grandmother welcomed her embrace and supplied her with a comforting hug. After a while of her grandmother’s flowing amount of support, Eli managed to settle her emotions. 

“Arisa and my friend Nozomi have also come.” 

“Ah yes. You have told me about that friend of yours before. She is.. still your vice president, eh?” 

“Indeed, she is also the one who made this trip possible.” 

“Ah, bless her than. Much thanks.” 

Eli smiled, “Definitely. I'll go get them.” 

She exited the room, now with a bit of feeling back into her legs and less tension inside of her. Those words her grandmother had said are words she will most certainly never forget. 

Eli found were Nozomi and Arisa were sitting. Immediately, they both stood up with worry expressed on their faces. They both noticed the puffiness in her eyes and Nozomi noticed how different Eli seemed. Nozomi stepped in her direction and stopped when right in front of her. She raised her arm to push back the multiple loose and messy hairs that only signified the roughness that Eli just went through. Nozomi’s face conveyed concern and compassion, which Eli found incredibly helpful with the state that she was in. 

“How is she?” 

Her blue eyes fell to the ground and her voice was just loud enough for Nozomi to hear. 

“I don't know.. She doesn't look well.. “, she said while remembering the trembling of her hand along with the raspy, out of breath voice. 

A reassuring hand met the blonde’s shoulder. 

“She wants to see you two. And she remembers you from the stories I have told her.” 

A small smile spread across Nozomi's lips, “I'm not sure if I can speak well enough Russian though.. “ 

“She is fluent in English, so I'm sure you two will hit it off”, Eli smirked, also waving at her younger sister to come. 

The three head back to room 109. 

Eli found herself worrying about Arisa. She had no idea how the younger girl will react, but no matter what, Eli pledged to herself to be there for her. However, before they reached the entryway to the room, they heard noises from the inside. Eli peered in to discover a nurse who seemed to be checking her grandmother’s blood pressure and heart rate. She heard weak coughs with the sound of shuffling and comforting words from the nurse. She winced, knowing that couldn’t mean anything good. Very soon after, the nurse walked out of the room and greeted the three girls. 

“Are you girls here for her?”

Eli nodded, “Yes… H-How is she?”

Eli wasn’t sure if the others picked up on it, but the nurse’s expression changed almost immediately. 

Lightly clearing her throat, the nurse stated, “She has seen better days.. There isn’t exactly any kind of prediction we can tell you.”

“I understand”, the blonde said while glancing back into the room. The nurse wished them a good day and hurried away. Eli waved her hands at the two others to tell them they can follow her. 

(in Russian) 

“I’m back, Grandma.~” 

“I see I see, ah my sweetheart Arisa has grown so much.”

Arisa approached the elder and began to strike normal conversation, while Nozomi stood somewhat awkwardly next to Eli. They watched as her grandmother stroked Arisa’s hand, similar to what she did to Eli. Eli got concerned when Arisa’s voice started to crack. But almost directly on cue, the old but wise grandmother directed her attention to the non-russian in the room.

(English) 

Nozomi tried her best with her English, “Hello. I am Nozomi, Eli’s friend. Nice to meet you.”

Grandmother Ayase looked surprised, not expecting the foreigner to speak in English. Both Eli and Nozomi were scared that she had forgotten the difficult language. However, both were left happily surprised. 

“I have heard a lot about you, Nozomi. Come closer, my dear.”

Noticing the small motion of her hand, Nozomi accepted the invitation and moved closer. An anxious Eli followed. Again, like she did with her grandaughters, she reached out for Nozomi’s hand. Nozomi took a gentle hold of the frail hand.

“Have you and Eli been doing well?”

She blinked. If she interpreted that question correctly… A blush arose on her cheeks. She looked over at a smiling, dumbfounded Eli who obviously didn’t understand the conversation at all. What exactly has Eli been telling her?

“With the student council, I meant.”

Nozomi instantly felt ridiculous for jumping to those conclusions.

“Ha..ah.. We are well in student council. It is hard sometime, but we get through.” 

“She is hard on herself, no?”

“She is. I have to hold her back from pushing herself over her limit.”

Nozomi was glad the others had no clue what the two of them were saying. 

“I was like that too, when I was a young girl. I am sure you understand why she is like that.” 

Nozomi does understand completely. It’s not that Eli wants to be above everyone else or wants to show off, it’s not a selfish reason like that. She’s just afraid. She’s afraid of not living up to other’s expectations, she lives in fear of not being good enough and failing. Nozomi knows this is from her past with ballet and this habit of overworking is something that will take time, but Nozomi has promised herself to be with her every step of the way.

“I do understand”, she said contently. 

“You are a smart, beautiful girl. Take care of my Elichika”, she patted Nozomi’s hand. 

Nozomi turned to Eli, who recognized her name in the conversation. A bright smile was shone off of Nozomi’s face and Eli reflected it. 

Nozomi said, with her eyes still on the glowing blonde, “I will.” 

The conversation soon drifted back into Russian with Arisa and Eli. Being especially talented in languages, Nozomi was even able to pick up more of the Russian language. Putting a happier atmosphere in the room, they all giggled when Nozomi tried to slowly pronounce some of the more difficult words. Conversation was pretty light-hearted, but areas did remain tense given their current circumstances. However, Nozomi was glad the atmosphere was positive, she hoped it would relieve Eli and Arisa for the time being and herself for that matter. 

The afternoon was dwindling and before they knew it, a nurse came to tell them to wrap things up. They all gently hugged the elder, said goodbye, and promised to visit the next day. On the way out, she called out Eli’s name. The other two went on ahead while Eli listened to what her grandmother had to say to her. This time, the way the shaky hands held her’s felt differently to Eli. The room became very quiet and her grandmother was gazing out the window.

“Thank you.”

Eli stayed quiet, not knowing how to respond to the serious regard. 

“I knew you girls would come. My grandchildren”, her grandmother smiled, Eli smiling in return.

“I feel relieved now, I was worried no one would come and see me.”

“Grandmother…”

“But somewhere in my heart, I knew you would come. My favorite grandchildren would come. I kept telling myself that everyday. Eli, in that drawer,” she rose her quavering arm and pointed, “there is something for you.” 

Eli slowly walked over to the specified drawer and was a bit hesitant to open it. 

“Go on.” 

She pulled open the drawer to reveal a gorgeous silver bracelet with blue stones around it.

“It’s… beautiful.”

“It’s yours.” 

Eli turned around to look directly at her. The sunset made the room feel dark, but shimmers of light made her grandmother visible. 

“Grandmother, I can’t accept this. It’s… It’s..”

“No, Eli, I want you to have it. That used to be my favorite, I think it has some good luck to it too.”

She didn’t want to be stubborn, so she decided to keep it. She latched it around her wrist and admired it on her arm. She felt her eyes begin to swell and failed to swallow the lump in her throat. She was frozen still.

“The others are waiting for you, my dear, you must hurry along.”

Eli didn’t want to leave. She wanted this moment to last forever. She wanted her grandmother to last forever. Falling back to reality felt like a slap in the face. But she had to be strong. She has to overcome. These lines played over and over in her head, but the tears never stopped. She tried to avoid eye contact but it was inevitable. A glance into her grandmother’s eyes made her heart twist and the tears stream. Her grandmother using all of her diminishing strength to give her a simple pat on the shoulder. 

“Goodbye, Elichika.”

Eli stood up and attempted to regain herself as well as possible.

“Goodbye, grandmother.” 

While unable to stop sobbing, she turned around. Her knees trembled, she felt numb, it took everything she had to not fall helplessly to the ground. But she is strong. So strong, she walked out of the room. So strong, she never looked back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grandmother Ayase- passed away in her sleep after years of struggling through chronic illness. Quote- “But somewhere in my heart, I knew you would come.” 
> 
> Death count: 1
> 
> I made quick decisions about how this story will play out. At the end of every chapter, I'll have a list of character(s) that have died in the chapter with a description and a quote. I'll also keep a death count to count the number of deaths in the entire story. ok byee


	5. Chapter 5

Sometimes, being spiritual isn’t all that great. Nozomi knows things that she doesn’t want to know, but her spiritual power makes outcomes too obvious for her not to know. Regardless, she continued trying to believe everything was going to be okay. She didn’t know how Arisa was reacting to all of this, but Nozomi figured she was trying to be positive by the way she kept forcing that smile. Not wanting to ruin the hope that Arisa was working on, she tried her best at staying strong. This was definitely the hardest part. For the first time, Nozomi was at a loss for words. Her mind was consumed with all the spiritual signs pointing towards death, something that she had never felt before. Maybe all she could do was stand there and wait for Eli to return.

The spiritual signs she was feeling were only confirmed by Eli, who walked slowly towards them, as if she were in a daze. When Eli got closer, Nozomi’s heart stung at the sight of the her red eyes streaming with tears. The two stood straight up, ready to greet her and give support; however, Eli walked right passed them. Almost instinctively, Nozomi turned and grabbed Eli’s wrist. Swinging around, Eli’s bright blue eyes struck her and made her body suddenly feel weak. After staring into each other’s eyes for what felt like years, Eli latched onto Nozomi. She buried her face in her shoulder and cried out. One of Nozomi’s hands tangled itself in Eli’s hair, while the other gently ran up and down Eli’s back, granting her the feeling of safety and comfort. Knowing she was trying to bottle her emotions again, Nozomi was proud that Eli was being so verbal. She would be practically screaming if Nozomi’s shirt wasn’t blocking the sound escaping from Eli’s throat. This was Eli’s emotional side. Not gentle sobs, no cute whimpers. Screaming, nails digging into Nozomi’s back, the feeling of teeth on her shoulder; this is the Eli she knows so well. 

“I’m here for you, Eli. I’m right here.”

Nozomi whispered nice words into her ear. They seemed to work, Eli’s grip on her loosened. Eli let go of her and stood in front of her, but the tears didn’t stop. Nozomi didn’t even notice her own tears, now gently covering her cheeks as well. She pushed Eli’s hair out of her face and grazed a thumb over the blonde’s cheek. Arisa then came over to give her sister a hug as well, this one being more gentle. The younger of the three gently wrapped her arms around Eli’s waist and buried her face in her chest.They shared a silent, but loud with emotion, moment together. Nozomi stepped back to give them space while quickly trying to clean herself up a bit. Soon, she heard Arisa say the words “let’s go”. The two separated and Eli looked up at Nozomi, signaling her that it was time to leave. 

They were given another silent ride back to the hotel room. Eli crashed onto their bed and took out some papers from school, obviously trying to get her mind off things. Arisa took the same approach, but listened to music from her laptop. Nozomi found herself looking out at the city from the balcony, trying to free the feelings of bad luck inside of her. Not finding any relief, she stepped back into the room. Noticing the atmosphere was just as lonely inside, she cleared her throat.

“Let’s go out.” 

Eli raised an eyebrow at the remark, not exactly planning to do anything else for the evening. Suddenly, her stomach growled just enough for the other girl to hear. She crossed her arms and looked to the side, acting as if she wasn’t starving at all. Nozomi smirked, knowing she would get her way. Giving in, Eli got up and went to the bathroom, probably ridding herself of the puffiness still around her eyes. 

The twin-ponytailed girl reverted her attention to Arisa, who to her discovery, has fallen fast asleep. Nozomi took to thought the amount of stress and hardships the younger girl has experienced in just one day, along with the jet lag that was hitting all of them hard. She sighed in the heavy atmosphere and gently took the earphones and laptop away from her, making sure not to wake her. Nozomi pulled the blankets up and over her, noting the chill throughout the room. 

Eli exited the bathroom and watched as Nozomi hovered over her sister. Eli couldn’t help but smile at the two. Her grandmother has always told her to enjoy the little things in life because one day, they will become big things. Day by day, Eli begins to see the truth behind all of the wisdom her grandmother has shared with her. 

Nozomi felt the blonde’s presence and looked up at her, mouthing the words “she’s asleep”. Eli flagged her to come. They left her a note just in case she woke up while the two were out.  
The evening air was quite brisk on Nozomi’s skin. She tested the temperature by huffing into the air, resulting in the visible cloud of her warm breath. 

“I know a place we can go.”

Her thoughts about the cold were interrupted by the voice of the girl standing beside her. Nozomi got a glance of the cute outfit the oh-so fashionable student council president was wearing. Her senses were telling her Eli was slowly letting go of the events that happened early and is probably just trying to have a good time. She noticed how Eli was observing her phone, and from what Nozomi could see, she was searching for directions. Before she had a chance to say anything, Eli took hold of Nozomi’s hand and guided her around the streets of her homeland. Unavoidable tings attacked Nozomi’s heart as she felt Eli’s soft fingers and warm hands around hers, grasping quite tightly.

This is not the time to gush, Nozomi thought to herself. 

Eli stopped in front of a small, cute restaurant in the middle of a bustling street. She admired it with a smile, knowing it was perfect.

“Πapфe.”

Nozomi, who still hasn’t let go of Eli’s hand, was left baffled at the foreign language.

The blonde turned her head to discover the blush and confusement placed across Nozomi’s face. Eli named this look, “lost little puppy”. Now, everyone knows the wise Nozomi Tojo isn’t the first to get lost, but Eli certainly is satisfied when she does. Cute, Eli described it. 

The blush contagiously spread to Eli’s cheeks, a smile also forcing it’s way out.

“Parfaits.”

The shorter girl giggled and a hand covered her increasing blush. 

“You’re adorable, ya know?”, she quickly turned and hurried inside the building, pulling Eli along. The atmosphere inside was very calming and the smell of dessert was wonderfully evident.

“Is it my turn to treat, Elicchi?”

“Don’t worry about it, I got it”, she flashed Nozomi a look and she knew there was no point of arguing, so she just accepted it. She watched as Eli ordered from the counter, rambling in Russian. She knew Eli was ordering their favorites, living up to their parfait traditions. Every time they went, whoever was paying would go and order the two desserts. Eli’s is a chocolate parfait, Nozomi’s is strawberry creme. It started out being a way to prove that they knew each other’s go-to flavor, and Nozomi thinks they continue it because it let’s everyone know the strength in their friendship. It was cute and something that she cherished deeply. In all honesty, Nozomi knew this “friendship” was on the brink of becoming something more. She had confirmed her feelings awhile back, but really is stuck on where to go from here. And Nozomi wasn’t blind, anyone could see that Eli felt the same way. Although she knew something about the trouble she saw in Eli’s eyes. Knowing how Eli usually is, she figured Eli was trying to sort things in her mind and such. However at any moment, she felt like she would crack and all of her feelings would come spilling out. But she needed to suppress them, it was not the right time to be enforcing anything, especially when Eli has a million other things on her mind. 

Distracting herself, she found a table for two closest to the window, similar to their spot back in Japan. The music in the room was soft piano, almost enough to put Nozomi asleep right there. She watched the busy road and adored the culture and mood Russia had to offer. Soon, Eli came over with the two desserts in hand. Immediately, they began to talk as if it was the end of a school day back in Japan. They talked about everything and anything, noticeably lifting Eli’s spirits. Laughs and giggles sprung from the stories and memories they have had together, neither one of them caring if they heard the story ten times already. They talked about work that needed to be done once they got back, they talked about the closeness of their graduation and the fears of stepping out into the real world. Eli mentioned being stressed about choosing the right college and career, but Nozomi has always ready to give Eli the words of advice and needed, although she is going through the same problems as well. 

“Whatever you plan on doing, I’ll always be there to help you. I can already picture a little chibi Elicchi being crushed by falling papers and books if you were to go without me!”, Nozomi joked. 

Eli laughed in response, but suddenly look a bit more serious. 

“So, you’ll stay with me? Even after graduation?” 

Nozomi smiled at the oblivious girl, “Of course.” 

“G-Good.” Eli got out quickly before stuffing her face with a spoonful of parfait.

Nozomi put her chin in her hands and watched El’s cuteness at it’s fullest. They continued to talk until the sky became a dark orange and they realized they have been there for over an hour. Picking up some instant noodles for Arisa on the way back, they headed home. To their surprise, she was still fast asleep when they returned. Eli had to wake her up however, knowing the poor girl must be starving. 

The end of the night was approaching, and Nozomi once again watched as Eli's emotions dwindled in happiness. Later in bed, they faced opposite directions. Nozomi knew that had to change so she turned around in a very loud manner that Eli could hear. Just like she predicted, Eli turned over as well. However, Nozomi's eyes widened when she noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks. 

Instinctively, she moved her hand to wipe her tears, leaving her hand cupped around Eli's cheek.

Nozomi moved her eyes to the shimmering light blue bracelet around Eli's wrist. The moonlight was hitting off of it, making the stones even more beautiful.

“She gave me this”, Eli's quiet voice quavered from the lump on her throat. 

“It's stunning.” Nozomi whispered in reply. 

The blonde nodded in agreement. The room went silent again, but the connection between the two of them was as loud a ever. They both studied each other's eyes, focusing on the shimmers reflecting from the dim light from outside. Without losing their strong eye contact, Eli broke the silence. 

“T-Thanks for this. I don't think any one of us would be able to rest easily if it weren't for what you did, Nozomi.” 

“No need for praise, Elicchi. I care about all of you so much, I just hoped this helped you and Arisa.”

“It did. It gave us closure, if I dare to say. She said she was waiting for us to come. I'm glad I did.” 

She sniffed and placed her hand on top of Nozomi's, which was still cupping her cheek. Nozomi watched as Eli's eyes ran up and down body, or what she could see of it with the dim lighting and bedsheets covering most of her. She felt the butterflies when Eli's eyes locked onto her lips, which caused Eli's blush to deepen. The twin-haired girl relaxed when the other girl's attention went back to her eyes, but the smirk now formed on Eli was questionable. The blonde took Nozomi's hand off of her, and moved closer. Her head nuzzled its way into her shoulder, while Nozomi accepted it and wrapped her arm around Eli's waist. The warmth they shared that night was something neither of them felt before. 

Before she drifted away to sleep, she couldn't help but place a gentle kiss on Eli's forehead, wishing her all the power to overcome her hardships. 

In the morning, Nozomi woke up to the voice of Eli, speaking on the phone. Knowing what the phone call was probably about, she let her eyes open more slowly. However, when her eyes did focus, she didn't see the tears she expected. She didn't see feel the energy drop throughout the room. She didn't see Eli in the way she thought she would. She saw a serious, mentally-stronger woman discussing the death in a proper manner. 

Nozomi fluttered her eyes and shifted in the bed, Eli noticing her awakening. Locking eyes, she mouthed the words thank you and continued her conversation on the phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the actual shits goin down real soon lol 5 chapters in and still haven't hit the actual plot gaah


	6. Chapter 6

Eli sat down on the edge of Arisa’s bed. Not wanting to ruin her day so early, she bit her lip. Arisa was still asleep, so the older sister gently patted her shoulder. She looked at her sister with sincerity and tried to seem as calm as possible. 

“Arisa.. “, she whispered. 

She fluttered her eyes open and focused on her sister. Her eyes widened while she sat up, surprised at Eli's appearance on her bed. Arisa noticed Eli’s gulp, starting to realize what this was about.

Unsure of how to word it, Eli just said it. 

“Arisa.. Grandmother passed away last night.” 

The younger girl’s eyes opened widely, tears already forming in the corners. Eli gripped around Arisa’s hand. 

“I know exactly how you are feeling right now, but it's something that we can overcome. She's in a better place now, her suffering is over. She told me.. She was happy to see us. We were the only ones that came. She knows how much we care. She told me how she knew she could believe in us. And she always will. We can't let her down, we have to continue our lives and live out her legacy. We’re Ayase’s, strong and brave.” 

She smiled, and although the tears were coming in heavy, Arisa knew what she was saying was true. She opened her arms wishing for Eli’s embrace. Fulfilled, the two shared a warm, empathetic hug. Eli knew that her little sister probably just wanted to stay like that awhile, as Arisa usually found relief from sadness with comfort. Especially from her sister, the woman she looked up to and cared so deeply for. Eli has always been over-protective and quite strict when it comes to Arisa’s social and academic life, but she knows it’s only out of love. When their mother isn’t around, Eli is the first to make sure Arisa is safe and protected. The young one always found this incredible, providing so much care for her even when her schedule is packed tightly. She knew she was so lucky to have Eli Ayase as her big sister.

She cried into her shirt until she let out every emotion inside of her. Eli rubbed her back and did everything she could to let Arisa know she wasn’t alone. They separated soon and greeted each other’s eyes with a smile. 

“Are..Are you okay too, big sis?”, Arisa asked with her head to the side, realizing Eli was acting completely different from yesterday at the hospital.

She smiled and looked to the side before answering, “Yeah.. Nozomi helped me out and I realized some things.”

Arisa giggled to herself, noting to thank the twin-haired girl later. 

“Speaking of, where is she?”

“She left to get lunch for us.”

“Ah.. Wait, is she familiar with Russian foods?” 

Eli perked at this remark, just realizing Nozomi probably has no idea what she is buying. This kind of situation lead her to full-on facepalm her hand into her forehead. Baka!

She reached over to the nightstand and grabbed her phone to call Nozomi. Arisa seemed to be getting a kick out of this, so she put the conversation on speaker.

“Elicchi? Is everything okay?”

“Yes, yes, everything’s fine. Arisa just reminded me that you probably don’t know what you’re buying ah hah.”

“....Oh shush you! I think I got some yummy food! It’s called…err..Pie-roe.ki….Peer..ski….Per..”

The Ayase sisters laughed out loud at the poor Nozomi’s terrible pronunciations of the native dumplings.

“Piroshki”, Eli said, highly inflicting her accent. 

“Yer gonna pay for this when I return with this.. this.. pieroski or whatever.. Grr..”

She ended the call and the two were practically in tears, Eli knowing all the perfect ways to playfully tease the other girl. Soon they heard the door open and the embarrassed Nozomi trucked her way into the room. Lucky for Nozomi, Eli had her back turned just long enough for Nozomi to place the food down and attack. 

“Washi washiiii!!!”, she dashed towards Eli at speed faster than light and practiced the familiar motion of groping her chest from behind.

“NoZOMII!!!”, Eli screeched. 

Nozomi released her and stepped in front of her to see her adorable red face. She smirked and inched a little too close to her. 

“I better loosen up on those soon.. You might start enjoying it~”, she whispered with a wink.

Eli would’ve done something shameful if it wasn’t for Arisa’s giggling in the background that apparently she just couldn’t hold back. Nozomi bopped Eli on the nose and returned to the dumplings. Eli, who could barely manage to stand, only maintained her composure because of the ability that Nozomi has of changing a gloomy day to a day full of laughs. 

They had light conversation over the food, but the moment Arisa went to shower, Nozomi confronted Eli. 

“So.. you told Arisa, right?”

Eli scooched closer to her, “Yeah. She understands everything I told her.”

The vice president scooched as well, so there shoulders were touching. 

“I’m proud of you, ya know?”

Eli turned her head to her and raised a brow. 

“You’re such a good big sister, I don’t think you can even comprehend how admirable I think it is.” 

She laid her head against Eli’s shoulder. Her heart ached as she felt Eli’s nose against her hair, she could only imagine if Eli’s heart beat just as fast as she took in the cherry blossom scent.

“You’re one to speak Toujou, you just… you know, I’m not even sure. Charismatic? Is that the word?”, she giggled, “I... guess you just make me happy.” 

Nozomi was in shock and her stomach twisted. What was this girl doing to her? At that moment, her body reacted in a way she just couldn’t control. Her heart pounding so loudly she thought Eli could hear, the butterflies making her feel 13 again. She couldn’t control her actions either, as she raised her head off of the other girl’s shoulder and stared deeply in the eyes that were staring right back at her. The tension was incredibly influential and Nozomi instantly picked up on Eli’s eyes traveling to her lips. She couldn’t help but give in to the want to gaze at her tempting lips as well. Every part of her screamed at her to make the move, but all of her thoughts disappeared at the sound of Eli’s voice.

“Nozomi..”, Eli’s eyes left her lips and caught onto the single stream of tears running down her cheek.

Just then she felt what Eli was seeing and became aware of the feeling of tears against her skin. Nozomi, now regretful and embarrassed, quickly wiped her eyes and turned her face away from Eli.

Her eyes focused on the ground in front of her, “U-Uh.. y-yeah you make me h-happy too.”

Was that the best I could come with? She admonished herself for being so stupidly in love that she can’t even produce words. She frantically pulled out her tarot cards and began shuffling, hoping she could just find a way through this in a way she was familiar with. Eli noticed the shakiness of her hands and tenseness of Nozomi, which is rare for her. 

Not thinking too clearly in her own mind, Eli herself let her body act as it wished. Her hand found itself over Nozomi’s cards, halting the fortune telling. Quickly, Eli pushed herself forward, placing a kiss on Nozomi’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes this is the last cute chapter probably ever. RIP here on out. Think NozoEli's relationship is all over the place now? It gon get f*cked.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no mercy.

  
The funeral was small, but impacted the Ayase’s greatly. It was a nice closure. The few other people were friends of their grandmother, and Eli was shocked when no one else in the family was seen at the funeral. It consisted of a simple ceremony and small talk amongst the guests afterwards. Arisa and Eli received many condolences, and Nozomi even managed to get some flowers for the two. By the end, they were ready to say their final goodbyes and were satisfied with the closure.  
  
Afterwards, it was Arisa’s plan to sight see, so Eli scheduled the plane trip home later that night to equal out their jet lag. With their remaining time in Russia, the two introduced Nozomi to more Russian meals. They visited the most beautiful mountain in the area, explored Russian fashion, and visited some historical sites. It was such a great end to their experience together, Nozomi knew this was just the start of the adventures and journeys her and her Elicchi would go on. She could only daydream at the thought of them exploring the world together.  
  
Sadly, their first adventure had to come to an end. Nozomi entered the plane with a strange feeling, one that she couldn’t pinpoint. She zoned out walking through the gates, trying to decipher her emotions, something that she is usually good at. The spiritual girl couldn’t differentiate her sad feelings of the end of her trip to some sort of building anxiety. It was a concern that she noted, but brushed it off for now.  
  
They secured their carry-ons and settled in their seats, Nozomi had the window seat, Eli was in the middle, and Arisa was closest to the aisle. Arisa, similar to the trip here, plugged in earphones and rested her head back, eagerly trying to get some rest. Eli noticed Nozomi gazing out the window, seemingly in deep thought.  
  
“Nozomi? You okay?”  
  
She blinked a few times but managed to find Eli curiously leaning over.  
  
“Oh yeah, sorry.”  
  
Eli knew Nozomi often went off into gazes, she figured it was because of her spiritual powers. But something about her felt off, and Eli was right. Nozomi wasn’t okay. The anxiety in the pit of her stomach twisted and turned, her lungs felt like they were tightening. She took a few deep breaths and tried not to draw attention to herself. She knew Eli would notice, but still tensed when she felt the hand on her shoulder.  
  
“You don’t seem okay.”  
  
Running a hand through her hair, Nozomi said, “I think it’s just air sickness or something.”  
  
Eli put a hand on Nozomi’s forehead and was shocked at the results.  
  
“You’re burning up!”  
  
Nozomi remained silent, knowing she wasn’t actually sick. However, she accepted the offer of Eli’s water bottle, hoping a drink would help clear her thoughts. Eli called for a flight assistant and managed to get her some medicine as well. Nozomi hesitated to take the pills, but hoped they would at least put her to sleep. They seemed to cool her down a bit, but Eli continued to ask how she was feeling every minute. The incessantness, along with the awfully strange vibes coming from the plane were enough to make her annoyed.  
  
Eli shifted in her seat and opened her mouth to check on her best friend again,but was surprised to be interrupted by a pointer finger in front of her lips. She slumped back in her seat, a little hurt from the motion that she thought Nozomi wasn’t capable of.  
  
Ten minutes. Nothing changed with the pain in Nozomi’s head. She attempted to mentally conduct one of her spiritual rituals, but she wasn’t able to finish. One of the motors coming from beneath them began stirring. No one else thought much of it, but Nozomi instantly reacted by throwing her head between her knees and gripping onto her hair.  
  
“Nozomi!”, Eli called out to her, but she never heard her.  
  
She sat up frantically and her eyes scattered around the area, not focusing on anything. Her hands flung out, one hitting the window and the other grasping onto Eli’s shoulder. Her breathing quickened and sweat became visible on her forehead.  
  
“We have to get off this plane.”  
  
At this point, Arisa had taken off her earphones and her full attention was on Nozomi, just like many others in the seats around her. Eli was aware of the attention and tried her best to calm Nozomi down. Although she tried to stay put together, she was fearing for her life. Not once has she ever seen Nozomi like this, it’s like something has taken over her. She took off her hand that was death gripping her sweater, and secluded it between her own hands.  
  
“Nozomi.. Calm down, deep breaths, everything is fine.”  
  
She looked at Eli with tears in the corner of her eyes, but she obliged and started breathing slowly, not losing eye contact with Eli. It seemed to work for the time being, however as soon as Eli took a deep breath herself, Nozomi ripped her hand from Eli. She covered her face recklessly, as visions of fire and screams consumed her thoughts. She realized the spiritual signs surrounding her were nothing but despair and destruction. She had to be dreaming, but this felt a little too real to be a dream.  
  
“Gaah!!”, Nozomi’s voice was raspy and low, terrifying Eli.  
  
If Eli didn’t jump in, Nozomi would’ve ripped out her own hair. The blonde took hold of her vice’s wrist, and battled her strong force to remove her hands from her face. Suddenly, she jerked toward Eli. Her face was covered with tears, streaming harder than Eli has ever seen. Nozomi gripped both of Eli’s shoulders, so hard that Eli swore it would leave bruises. Eli doubted Nozomi’s sanity as soon as she laid eyes on her pitiful, desperate face. Roughly, she was pulled towards Nozomi.  
  
“Eli.. Eli… please listen to me.. We have to.. We must get off this plane.. We-”  
  
Eli felt Nozomi’s hand on the back of her head, and a grip around her back she knew she couldn’t get out of.  
  
“I-I don’t know what’s going on.. But try calming down for me Nozo-”  
  
“No no no.. I c-can’t Eli please..”  
Her whimpers intensed, all eyes around them were on the two. Not knowing what else to do, Eli ran her hand up and down Nozomi’s back.  
  
“Everything’s fine.. You just need to calm down Nozomi..”  
  
“We’re going to die..”  
  
Her voice was broken from the lump in her throat and the fact she was holding back from screaming. She needed to protect Eli and Arisa, she needed to get off this plane.  
  
“Nozomi we are all okay. We’re right here, we’re perfectly fine.”  
  
She let go of Eli. Maybe she was wrong, she thought. But she never was with her visions. But this could be a first, right? She had to believe that, she had to ignore all the terrible things playing out in her head.  
  
She stayed silent for the next few minutes, she felt Eli’s fingers lock with hers. A light squeeze came from Eli, which Nozomi returned after a few more deep breaths.  
  
“Nozomi.”  
  
She look towards Eli, who urged to wipe the tears from her eyes. Eli’s touch comforted Nozomi, the feeling of her soft hand around her’s helped her think of nice thoughts. They settled back in their seats, however all three of them remained uneasy. Minutes passed, the only thing that could be heard from the three is the tapping of Nozomi's fingers. An hour goes by, the two sisters pretend nothing happened. Nozomi continued to fidget, the thoughts still lingering.  

Hours have passed since her outbreak and the passengers have seemed to forgotten all about it. Nozomi too was now doubting what has come over her, and also realized the idea of some heat wave of sort isn't such a far-fetched idea. However, that all changed when the entire plane grew dark and Eli instantly latched onto her.

"Please excuse us for the inconveniences, it seems that a power outage has broken out. Please do not panic, it will be fixed shortly."

She forced herself to believe it was just a coincidence. Just electrical problems. She needed to stop thinking such horrid things and focus on the trembling girl who let her fear of the dark win once again. The power will be back on shortly, she told herself. Everything was going to be okay.

Everything was such a blur after that. Nozomi felt the terrifying force of the plane diving to the ground, the feeling of being so close to death. She felt the death-defying bangs and crackles of the interior of the plane. Then, the incredibly powerful impact of the plane hitting the ground, and objects flying by her as the plane skid across the earth, still moving very fast.  
  
When she opened her eyes and understood her surroundings, everything was still fuzzy. Her head was pounding and she felt faint when she saw the blotches of red all over her body. Before she even produced any thought, she turned to Eli. Her eyes found the blonde huddled in the aisle, or what was left of the aisle with all the rubble surrounding it. Without noticing the pain, she made her way over to Eli. Nozomi felt like this was all unreal, it couldn’t actually be happening. She realizes Eli is hovered over Arisa’s body. She didn’t want to look, but her eyes fell upon the young body sprawled on the floor, limp and not moving.  
  
“Arisa… wake up..”, she heard Eli whispering.  
  
“A-Arisa… come on now…”  
  
“Open your eyes… please…”

  
“ARISA!!!!!!!”, Eli painstakingly cried out, now laying on her body.  
  
Nozomi stood back and just stared at the dead body, petrified and doubting reality again. The scent of gasoline hit her, knocking her out of the gaze. Her thought process was slow, but she came to realize that they needed to get out of there. She gave the last ounce of sanity she had to step up.  
  
Her voice shook and her body was trembling, but she managed to get out, “We have to get out of here.”  
  
Eli didn’t respond, she just kept staring at Arisa’s cold face.  
  
“Eli! We need to leave right now!”, she yelled desperately.  
  
She knew she wasn’t in her right mindset but instantly regretted lashing out. However, it seemed to work. Eli’s eyes scattered around and she managed to gulp down the lump in her throat and stop the tears temporarily. She picked up Arisa’s body and followed Nozomi out of the destroyed plane. They both tried to not look at the other bodies or cut themselves on the loose metal and rubble obstructing their every step. Nozomi looked back at Eli and signaled for her to pull her shirt over her mouth to prevent breathing in all of the smoke and fumes.  
  
They found an exit, but as soon as they touched ground, Eli collapsed from the weight of her sister’s body. She helplessly sat on the ground, sobbing while staring down at her frail sister in front of her once again. Nozomi knew they still weren’t in the clear if the plane exploded, so she had to choose safety over her and Eli’s mental well-being. She attempted to grab Eli’s arm and pull her up. However, Eli just wouldn’t let up and she stayed put in front of Arisa, continuing to weep her name. Nozomi kept trying, she just needed to get Eli out of there.  
  
Looking down, Eli said through her tears, “Just leave me. I’d rather die.”  
  
Those words shivered through Nozomi’s body. This couldn’t be happening…, she told herself again. She stared at the debris of the plane and the darkness around her. She saw a light coming from inside the plane. Light meant fire, there were only minutes left until they would be burned from the combustion. She looked down at Eli, whose expression was dark and terrified. Nozomi barely recognized her.  
  
“No.. No Eli please, you.. You have so much to live for.. Just..,” Nozomi didn’t know how else to convince her, “... just live for me, we’ll live. I promise.”  
  
“I-I can’t”, Eli clenched her eyes shut, with one hand over her mouth and the other on Arisa.  
  
“Yes, you can!”, she screamed like mad. She shot her hand in front of her, just wishing for Eli to take it.  
  
“Can we come back for her?”  
  
Nozomi was silent after hearing the despair in Eli’s voice. It crushed her, knowing that Eli still believed Arisa was alive and the fact that the smartest girl she knows is so out of it that she hasn’t figured out what happens when fire meets gasoline. Nozomi made a quick decision, having to choose between giving up or dealing with the emotional trauma and never being able to go back to the life they once had.  
  
In response to Eli, Nozomi made her choice.  
  
“Yes.”  
  
Eli took a hold of Nozomi’s hand and the two ran off into the dark forests, leaving her sister’s body behind. They heard the deafening explosion and felt the heat it has created. The pair looked back, watching the massive flame incinerate everything in the area.    
∞  
∞  
∞  
∞  
_**Arisa Ayase-**_ _passed away from extreme impact from a plane crash on the way back from a trip to Russia, her hometown. A middle schooler whose life has been ended short by tragic fate._

 _Quote- “T-Thank you so much for letting me come along! It means so much to me, honestly!!”_  
  
_Death Count: 2_


	8. Chapter 8

  
  
Eli heard the massive explosion and instantly turned around, breaking away from Nozomi’s grasp. She was silent, the heat radiating off of the bright outbreak stunned her. By this time, Nozomi became aware of Eli’s halt and the painful silence in the air. She winced when the silence abruptly ended by Eli screaming Arisa’s name as loud as she could. Nozomi felt any sense of reality slipping away once again, the desperation in Eli’s voice shuddering through her. Her head lowered, her eyes focused on the tears falling down her cheeks, hitting dead leaves scattered on the ground.  
  
“I’m sorry.. I’m sorry, i’m sorry, i’m sorry…”, she kept repeating.  
  
She heard the leaves crunch when Eli turned around to face her.  
  
“I’m so sorry…”  
  
“You told me we’d go back for her.”  
  
“I-I-I... I’m s-sorry… she’s gone…”, Nozomi could barely make out any words.  
  
She raised her head but only locked onto dead eyes staring back at her. However, she didn’t have to look at those cold eyes for long. She felt the stinging pain of the strike of a hand across her cheek.  
  
“You bitch!”, Eli wailed.  
  
Through all the pain she has felt that night, the pain she felt at that moment was worse than anything she could ever imagine. The blurry sight of Eli walking away from her, the sting of her cheek that the girl has kissed just a day ago, the shattering of her heart, nothing could possibly compare. Her body gave way and she crumpled to the ground. Her hand made it’s way up to her cheek, she could barely breathe as the sobs overcame her.  
  
“Eli.... Eli… Eli…Don’t leave me..”, she weeped quietly.  
  
Eli was far away from her by now, gravely rushing back to where Arisa was left. The body was a few feet in front of where she left her, turned on her stomach from the impact of the explosion. Eli cursed at the severe burns and half scalded body before her. That was her sister. The one she swore to protect, even at the cost of her own life. So why did it turn out like this? The older girl would do anything to trade places with her. Descending to her knees, she cursed at the sky. Her fists pounded the ground beneath her, grunting with every hit. She scolded herself for barely recognizing her sister. But just trying to conjure thought was a challenge to Eli, she felt as if she didn’t have control. Anger ran through her veins, she didn’t feel like herself. She could hardly feel her heavy, flooded eyes, nevertheless the throbbing of her heart. However, she was excruciatingly aware of the wants to submerge herself in the flames coming from a pile of rubbage close to her.  
  
The flicker of the flame tempted her. She wanted the pain to disappear. One step… Another step… the heat tingled against her skin. Anger drew her closer and closer, any bit of control she had was long gone. It felt impossible to stop, until she heard a familiar, soft voice.  
  
_“Elicchi. Everything will be okay, I care about you. I’m here for you, Elicchi, I’m right here.”_  
  
She turned around, eyes widening when discovering the absence around her. Her eyes darted everywhere, looking for the source of the kansai accent. She found nothing. The idea of Nozomi in her head made her scramble her thoughts and search for even just the tiniest bit of sense. She raised her hand to run her fingers through her hair, but stopped when her eyes started focusing again. They picked up on the metal jingling around her wrist. Her grandmother’s bracelet. Some of the gems were cracked, but it was still there. It was enough to know that she was watching, that she was still with her. The lingering images of Nozomi in her mind and the emotions unraveling from the bracelet pushed her to stay away from the fire.  
  
She walked in the opposite direction but stopping once again in front of her little sister, still destroyed by the motionless corpse.  
  
_“I’m here for you.”_  
  
The voice was so clear, Eli could just picture Nozomi walking up behind her and always, always providing her the love and support she needed. However, once again, when Eli turned around, no one was there.  
  
“Nozomi…”, she whispered to herself.  
  
She walked forward, slowly at first. She began to remember the back of Nozomi’s head, leading her out of the smokey airplane. The sight of her hand reached out- her face desperate, but still beautiful. Her legs sped up on their own but Eli knew where she was going now. Images filled her mind of the horrified look on her face before Eli raised her hand.. and..  She clenched her teeth, tears falling behind her. All the events from the night came back to her. She was running at full speed. The darkness covered the forest, she almost let her fear stop her, but her mind was concentrated only on Nozomi. Eyes scattering, heart pounding, Eli raced to her last hope.  
  
“Eli.. Eli...Why…”  
  
The voice she heard calling her name was different than the one she heard earlier. Regardless, Eli knew it was her. Her legs felt like giving out when she stopped in front of the curled up, crying mess of a girl. She felt pins pierce her heart when Nozomi flinched at her arrival, looking at her like she was afraid of her. Eli felt too ashamed to keep eye contact, so her eyes fell to the ground. Her voice was shaky but hopefully, just hopefully Nozomi could hear her.  
  
“Nozomi..”, she gulped, “Let’s live.”  
  
Nozomi let those two words sink straight to her heart, acting like a medicine. She ached for Eli, even after the trauma she put her through- sitting in the dark alone for just that short while. She fulfilled her only want and approached Eli. To the purplenette’s surprise, Eli pulled her in and she was instantly surrounded by the warmth and comfort of her strong arms wrapping around her. Simply unable to hold back, she buried her teary eyes in her shirt, the familiar scent itself already calmed her down. Eli felt her shirt dampen and Nozomi’s lips beginning to move, muffled speech coming from it.  
  
“Eli…”  
  
“Your voice, Nozomi, it.. it saved me. I don’t know what it was, but I heard it. I knew I couldn’t leave you.. I needed to tell you…”, she gulped to make her voice clear and strong.  
  
_“That I’m here for you too.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I've never so adored you  
> I'm twisting allegories now  
> I want to complicate you  
> Don't let me do this to myself
> 
> I'm chasing roller coasters  
> I've got to have you closer now
> 
> Endless romantic stories  
> You never could control me"~
> 
> Shout out to "Far Too Young To Die" by P!ATD for helping me write this chapter. The worst is over now fellas, let's celebrate :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for a bit of graphic/bloody stuff.

_"I’m here for you too.”_

She felt Eli’s heart beating as she hugged her harder, just wanting to be as close to her as possible and clutching onto those words as if it was all she had left. Eli embraced her just as tightly back, realizing the girl was practically her lifeline. Little did she know, her lifeline was fighting terrible battles herself. Flashes and voices repeated in Nozomi’s head, images of Arisa’s dead body never seemed to leave. Seeing the girl she loves so much sprawled across her dead sister, losing her sanity. The scene of Eli’s back turned to her, flames surrounding her silhouette. All she could do is cry and be afraid. However, she had to remind herself of the gleam of light buried under all the darkness; Eli wanted to live. It was hope, and that’s all that could save the two of them.

“W-We can do it Eli, we can live. I feel like I’m losing my mind right now, I’m scared and I can’t think straight. And you must feel the same, but I just know we can do it. We’ll… We’ll be there for each other.”, Nozomi pulled away from the hug and gripped Eli’s shoulders tightly.

“It’s going to be hard, possibly the hardest thing you will ever do, but you have to remember that there is a future. Everything that happened tonight.. It’s insane, horrible, and I don’t want to accept it as our reality… But I’m going to try my best to help you. I want to get out of this terrible nightmare, but with you by my side..”

Eli closed her eyes while listening to her voice, simply letting the hopeful words swim through her. Even without the words connected to it, her voice shone. She felt like she could just explode with all the feelings controlling her. Nozomi always told her to not be confined by her feelings, maybe it as time to actually listen.

“Arisa… she’s really gone isn’t she?”

Nozomi thought about the youngest Ayase. The way Arisa lit up a room, just by walking into it. Her smile, so pure and beautiful. Polite, kind, never did a thing wrong. She didn’t deserve to be swept from this world so horribly, so quickly. Nozomi realized how awful it was to admit that this is the first time she actually thought about it. Since she saw Arisa’s body, she was only worrying about Eli, forgetting that Arisa was also someone she held dear to her.

“It’s terrible Eli… I don’t know what we did to deserve this…”  
“I-I feel so guilty.. I feel like I should’ve died, I should’ve protected her, b-but I didn’t”, Eli swallowed, “I’m a disappointment of a sister. I let her die.”

She sat and leaned up against a tree, then tucked her knees in and hugged them. Nozomi followed her, putting her hand on her shoulder when she began to speak.

“It’s not your fault, it’s no one’s fault…”

Nozomi waited for a response but could only hear Eli’s heavy sobs. Eli answered by pushing her head closer to Nozomi, who naturally lifted her arm and wrapped it around Eli’s shoulders. Just then, she realized how cold the air was. Eli was curled up against her, but her other side tingled from the frigid breezes. Just as she was about to move closer to Eli, she noticed the bloody shreds of fabric on her forearm. Eli seemed to notice as well, getting out of her curled position. She rested Nozomi’s arm into the palm of her hands, looking at her before exposing the skin.

Nozomi replied with a nervous gulp and a quick nod of the head. Eli slowly ripped away the hanging fabric, the older girl whimpered from the new pain. She unmasked her greatly lacerated arm, just covered with slashes and a deep carve in the middle leading up to a bit past her elbow. This is just what was noticeable in the dark.

“Nozomi!”

This was the first she recognized her maimed arm, her mind was to occupied before to be aware of her physical pain. The more she looked at it, the worse the pain got. Eli panicked, but managed to force herself into a mindset where she could take care of her correctly.

She wished she had water, but she just had to make-do with the bloodied torn fabrics that she did have. To test, Eli slowly began to graze her fingers over the gashes. She had to pulled back immediately when Nozomi clenched her fist and cursed. Eli examined the arm closer, being lucky as the moonlight hit a sharp piece of glass lodged at the end of the main cut. Her stomach became queasy, taking in that this was Nozomi’s arm she was looking at. She had no actual experience with anything medical, but she had to do the best she could. This could lead to infection and only would get more painful if she didn’t act now.

Eli took off her top and twisted it to be thin, making something for Nozomi to bite down on.

“Eli no, it’s freezing out. I’ll be fine.”

The blonde shot her a serious look and pushed it in front of her mouth. Hesitant at first, she bit down on the shirt. Eli moved to the other side of her, allowing the moonlight to give her more visibility.

“You might want to look away.”  
Nozomi trusted her and faced away. Eli proceeded to roll up the sleeve and make sure the extra fabrics were close to her. The blood streamed out of the cut with the glass in it, only continuing to run as Eli tried to wiggle it out. Nozomi’s nails dug into her fisted hand and her teeth clenched onto the improvised bite.

“I’ll go as quick as I can Nozomi, make sure to stay still..”, Eli said, unaware of her own tears building up.

She was able to get a strong grasp on the glass with her fingers. She saw Nozomi’s breathes heavy, and became dubious if she wanted to inflict this pain onto her. Eli shook the thought off, reconfirming her certainty that this was the right solution.

She adjusted the support her other hand had under Nozomi’s elbow. Taking a deep breath, she began to pull. Nozomi squinted her tear-filled eyes and tried to distract herself from the pain. The spiritual girl never felt such a severe pain before, so she couldn’t help but grunt and murmur into the cloth in her mouth.

“Done”, Eli stated while examining the 2 inch shred of stained glass now in her hand.

Eli listened to Nozomi’s deep sigh of relief as she cleaned up the blood with a strip of fabric. However, regret swept over when she saw another shimmer of light in the corner of her eye. A smaller piece of glass a little lower, blood oozing out. Another small piece close to that one, a few more became prominent as Eli’s eyes continued down the forearm.

“Oh god, you… you sat next to the window, didn’t you?”

Nozomi nodded, looking down at her arm again. Her eyes widened at the now obvious cause of the injury.

“I put my arm up to protect myself. The window must’ve shattered.”

Eli took the bite out of her mouth and raised Nozomi’s arm so that her body was accessible to her. She hugged Nozomi, her hand also stroking the hair on the back of her head. Nozomi wrapped her other arm around her the topless girl, feeling the cold skin against hers.

“I’ll go super quick. You can do this, you’re like so strong Nozomi. I know you are.”

Eli nuzzled her head in Nozomi’s neck, with her arms tightly grasped around her. Nozomi, through all the pain she was in, just smiled at Eli’s words. Even if what she said wasn’t all that true, she was glad Eli thought of her like that. With cheeks covered in tears, Nozomi silently mouthed a few words that she so longed to say outloud. Eli continued saying such nice words to her, the warm breath against her neck made her forget how cold it was in the middle of the night.

“Okay, I think I’m ready.”

Eli gave her one last tight squeeze before letting go. She gave Nozomi back the shirt that was now damp in the middle and adorned with teeth indents. A pair of green eyes met hers, but Eli lost contact by moving the hairs out of Nozomi’s sweating face. Locking eyes again, Eli gave her a quick nod and returned to her spot next to her side.

She slid her hand under Nozomi’s hand, while the other attempted to pull out all of the glass chips one by one. The vice squeezed her hand harder with every tug. It was a difficult task, some of the pieces were small, too small for Eli’s short nails to get out reasonably. She closed her eyes for those and just dug in until her fingers could get a grip on the tiny pieces. About halfway through, she heard Nozomi start to audibly cry. Eli’s fingers were covered in blood and she felt weak to the sight but she pushed through, knowing the sobbing girl obviously had it a lot worse.

“I’m almost done, Nozomi.”

She mumbled something through the cloth, but Eli couldn’t make it out. Another pull, another hand squeeze, another drop of sweat off her forehead. Finally, she pulled out the last one. She spat on one of the fabrics and tried to clean the numerous slits as much as possible. It wasn’t much of a disinfectant, but it at least cleaned off most of the blood. Taking the largest glass sliver, she cut off the fabric knee-down from one side of her pants. She then wrapped it tightly around the arm and tied it together with the rest of the extra fabric. After she rolled back down the rest of Nozomi’s sleeve, she turned her attention back to her sobbing best friend.

“You did it.”

She looked down at the now bandaged arm, blinking quickly before realizing where the new fabric came from.

“You’re.. Going to get cold Eli..”

“I’d rather be a little cold than have you get an infection. We’ll find water tomorrow and clean it more, tell me if anything hurts okay?”

Nozomi nodded, “Thank you.”

She handed Eli’s shirt back. The blonde unrolled it and put it back on, disregarding the scrunched up and damp parts. She sat down next to Nozomi again but this time a silence swept over them. The silence made Eli more aware of the darkness surrounding them and her eyes darted every time the eerie forest made a noise. Luckily, they weren’t that deep into the forest and still had a sense of direction as they were close to the open space the plane crashed in. Eli feared when they would have to leave this area, as another one of her fears was getting lost. That accompanied with her fear of the dark would petrify her.

“We.. We won’t get attacked out here right?”

Nozomi could hear the fear in Eli’s voice. She felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist and a face hiding itself in her shoulder. Both of them knew the answer to the question couldn’t be certain, all they could do was hope for the best. Nozomi managed to find a decent sized rock next to her, just in case.

Draping her healthy arm over Eli’s shoulders once again, she held her close. One reason to conserve body heat, the other being the mental need for the other girl to be close to her. Nozomi realized that under these circumstances, doing some sorts of things would act as escapism and a break from reality. She knew it wasn't healthy, not only for themselves, but their relationship too. She couldn't let temptation beat her out here. If they were to do anything, it would be only for a source of comfort. That's not what Nozomi wanted. However, they were actually already denying reality, both of them acted as if Arisa hasn’t just died and they weren’t stranded in a dark forest with no food or water. That reality was too painful to live in, and Nozomi figured it was just better to push that all away for now.

Eli drifted her half-bare leg across and tangled it in between her own legs. She nuzzled her head deeper into Nozomi’s shoulder, arms still wrapped around her waist tightly. The warmth of Eli’s body touching hers own felt nice. Her bandaged arm laid on the ground beside them while the other ran up and down Eli’s back, proceeding to put the probably exhausted girl to sleep. Nozomi was glad when she could hear the girl’s now steady breathing. However, sleep for her was out of the question.

Nozomi barely knew anything about survival, her only source of knowledge being from fake reality tv shows. The physical pain she just endured haunted her too, but only because she knew the chances of deathly injuries around here were high. If Eli had to experience that pain… she wouldn’t be able to watch that. Despite Eli’s strength and fitness, Nozomi knew just how sensitive she really was.

The air blew, sending shivers down her body. The noisy bugs echoed and the sound of wings fluttering filled the space around them. If they were in any other situation, Nozomi would be fast asleep with her legs intertwined with Eli’s; her president’s body was sprawled on her like a blanket. Even though it was just yesterday, Nozomi pictured her normal life with Eli and Arisa as if it was years ago. These memories played over and over in her mind, she felt herself drifting farther from reality as she stared at the darkness before her. This was the first of many sleepless nights to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "I remember tears streaming down your face  
> When I said, "I'll never let you go."  
> When all those shadows almost killed your light  
> I remember you said, "Don't leave me here alone,"  
> But all that's dead and gone and passed tonight
> 
> Just close your eyes  
> The sun is going down  
> You'll be alright  
> No one can hurt you now  
> Come morning light  
> You and I'll be safe and sound~"
> 
> Props to T Swift's "Safe and Sound" for helping me write this chapter. Hope you're enjoying the story!


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